A long time ago I heard that the human being only uses about 2% of the brain. We are all in this same limited category and the reason why we are like this is because we do not go to the basic or original root of any thought or feeling. We do not go to the root of our problems and that is why the brain is in compartments. We talk about and live in these compartments as if they are separated parts of ourselves. It is not like you are trying to create these splits or conflicts, you are born this way and you have become accustomed to living in these compartments.
These compartments are what we are discovering and opening through the conversations we are having during the Satsangs. For example, when we talked about how a person stays wrapped up in a childhood hurt throughout their life. The hurt means the person is closed in ideas and beliefs about that hurt. We need to understand this because we think we need so much book knowledge. This is why the person does not go to the original root of the thoughts and feelings that have created the fear or hurt.
Instead, people have become geniuses by reading so much knowledge but it does not work. The person stays in this pretending and acting mode because they learn through the books that they should live smoothly. The person believes that we should not show that we are hurt, that we should show respect, that we should not live in conflict with the colours. We believe we should not be violent people. We are born with this custom and then it is confirmed by all the listening and reading. We are taught that we should be nice, be compassionate, do not do this and do not do that. But we do not go to the basic root of where the conflict is. Nobody told us to turn our face within ourselves to see the roots of our problems because they also did not know.
Another example is when we are children and we see someone acting angry. When someone is acting angry we may have heard our mother say, “See that person’s face, that person is evil.” or “That person is acting crazy.” As a child we are absorbing this and inside the conflict is getting stronger because we deny our own anger thinking it is wrong and we begin to live that way.
I keep on reminding you that just because you are older does not mean you have that clarity. You are still living in that small child’s brain where there is conflict and fear. When there is conflict in the child, that resistance continues throughout your life. This is why we cannot heal properly. We do not heal because the resistance is automatic. It is already programmed. The child has already registered this act and a picture of evil, and now the conflict is there and the child is going to say, “No, that look or that act is bad” and for the rest of our life we have nothing at all to do with that bad part or compartment within ourselves.
This is one example of the evil, anger and devil look being put on the side. Now, for the rest of the person’s life that part of the brain is not hearing anything and cannot hear anything because it is completely blocked by the individual. The person and their ego grow up and only show how they are a good person; not bad or evil. The person wants to become a saint, and for other people to see that you are good, and the anger or devil look is hidden inside the mind and the ego does not want to go there because the cost is too great because you have to be so small, so basic, such a normal person.
You have seen that look, action or energy in your neighbour, relative, husband, wife, grandparents and many others and a huge conflict or separation has been created in you and is not letting you function. Just remember that since childhood the person has been acting as “I am a good person.” Even the person who has acted out or has participated in the anger is also the same way. This person cannot accept that part within themselves and wants to be a saintly person. Everyone in this room, we all know our personalities, we all know how we have grown up and we all know ourselves. So now you see how much we do not want to go into the area where there is this devil look. Instead you deny all of that area.
If we are really, really willing to see ourselves, the person has to come down from this denial in order to see how “I am preventing this devil look” and how “I am preventing to digest this anger.” The person closed this door a long time ago and thinks “I am or should be a good person.” This is why the person will not look to see if that same devil face is in father’s or grandmother’s face. The door was closed and now your own father, mother, grandparents or neighbours all stay outside that door and we are pretending that we need to be the nice one, the person who is accepting everything. We pretend because we do not let that devil come and completely, completely return back to you in every way that you are holding it. You can be holding a look, energy, thoughts and feelings that you believe you should not have.
It is the same way with the hurt. The one who has been hurt is holding the same image of a devil. It is like a wall. Some people were mentioning that their childhood neighbourhood was full of chaos. In a bigger picture it is like a wall as well but we are afraid to go there. We do not accept. We do not know how to accept until we can see the way we are holding this hurt.
The person is trembling in fear and does not know they have so much fear. Even the fear is buried deep, far away from the person’s awareness. In the fear you can see so many images that the person is holding about this violence, but you are afraid to see it and therefore it is easily denied. You have closed the door on a friend or someone you know because you think that person is completely too violent. But in closing the door you are closing your brain. When your brain stays closed in this area you cannot see. You cannot see because when anything comes that disagrees with your belief that this person is too violent you cannot hear it because this part is closed in you. Now we are opening all of these misunderstandings. This is an example that I am sharing because what the person is trying to become itself is nonsense. The devil look is not the nonsense.
If we are able to completely open to that part . . . because the devil, maybe I am using a stronger word but sometimes you think that a person is completely unacceptable. Maybe with the devil word you can relate with it in a simple way. Many times, you are unconsciously really afraid of a person thinking, “No, I do not want to be around that person or that mess.” But see how we are inside of us, that is what is important; that split or conflict that is not letting us become whole.
A reason for not going into the parts or compartments that are creating the splits and conflicts within us is because we want to become someone. The person does not say “I want to become someone” but this is what is secretly going on. The person is sitting in some kind of pose or way of seeing themselves and already wants others to see them in the same way. What I am talking about will be shattering the person because we have totally shut that area because it is too simple. What I am saying today is too simple, too basic.
One person was saying “I found out I do not like to be touched and I couldn’t figure out why.” Inside we do not know. Another example is when we hear the words “God is One.” When we hear these words, we are already in the imagination that God is up there shedding his light on us all. This is how we see that. We don’t know what the words “God is One” mean because you have to really come down to the basics and your ego is going to be shattered. Slowly, when you come down you will see “How I am holding” or “I am so afraid of that action or that look.” Do not deny that. You all have these thoughts, feelings and fears. In one way or another you are all holding onto something.
When you see yourself holding a fearful or hurtful thought or feeling you can come closer or let it come closer to you. Slowly, slowly look and you will be able to open that in you. Do not turn your face away from it because this denial has been creating stubbornness in the person. Ego is not something that you can say “Okay, this is my ego.” But you can see in small, small ways how “I am still resisting something.” You are resisting to be touched by that hurt, that look or that energy because you have all grown up in that kind of violence. All of you in one way or another, if not at home, then at school, if not at school then it has been somewhere else. You know that. . . this conflict in yourself.
The moment you see “I have been resisting this” is going to be a little bit shocking and in that moment, you do not like it, but it is a good opportunity if you can come closer to that moment. Even if we see “God is One” still, all of these compartments need to go because they are in us. These compartments are in everybody. In so many ways the person so easily says “I accept” or “I have been accepting” or “I am so okay with it” but that acceptance and that okay-ness is so superficial. This is the pretending way.
I think this denied angry or devil part is so important to open because the person can easily forget the good moments, but is so strongly holding onto these violent moments. Whatever you are holding you need to go back into and see. We have been trying to say no, and thinking we need to be okay with it, but this is acting. If we as human beings are not whole because we still have those compartments, then we are not what we are looking for. It is just an idea.
Just go closer and closer because the violence can be from your mother, father, grandparents, neighbours or school. It can go on and on. A conflict or disagreement between friends can turn into violence. This is why I am reminding you that we have so much capacity to be in every thought or feeling that comes to us, but because of this resistance we are only living in a small area. If there is a conflict then we are not living in this freedom. There is a conflict with this violent person. Whether it is about you or about another person, it is the same. You deeply, deeply go into that. In the past I have heard people say that the husband is physically abusive, but now that slowly becomes a permanent belief in the system and the person says “Yes of course it is true.” But you do not know what the truth is. Any little idea or belief that you are holding onto is blocking you. It is limiting you and it is keeping you in the same violence. It is the same anger, the same position and the same resistance unless you choose to go in you and see that.
We so easily go into “It is not acceptable” but what is it doing to you? For the rest of your life the conflict is in you and you never even considered being free from it because you already think it is not right. Really open to it as it is, the way you are holding on to it. You see if you are still denying it. Slowly, just see that because the person does not like to swallow that bitter truth, it is too bitter.
The truth is inside of you and to dig to that truth you have to be small. We hear “The truth is inside of you” from wise people. But, we think what I am seeing outside of me is the truth, and you are held by that outside truth, and inside of you is the conflict. There is too much hatred but you do not see that because you are saying “I’m not supposed to hold that hatred against that person, I’m just fine now.” This is acting because you do not want to go inside of you where you are holding the hatred.
I see all of this. I am not talking from any kind of superficial experience. This is what I am talking from. What your eyes see and what you physically experience is not true. There is no truth in it. Go deeper in the self. It can be hard to swallow. I remember in the past people used to fight with me about this, but how long do you want to stop this? It is time to remove that conflict now. Even in a visual way, even if you did not directly experience the violence that others have experienced; in your dictionary this is still the truth because you are thinking, “That is not right, this violence is not right.” It is like two people fighting inside of you. The kid is saying “It is not right, I do not like it” but the kid is holding that picture, this violence, this conflict.
If you do not go into what you are holding we secretly stay violent people even though we don’t show it. This is why it is so important for us to see what we are repeatedly producing, holding and being held by.